I don’t say that negatively, I just say that because if I look back on some of the decisions I made and the company I kept, it could have only been based on my understanding of “me” which was limited by the experiences (or lack thereof) that I had at that moment in time.

As I navigated the world as me, I would eventually transition to a ‘we’ as I became a wife and a mother. The things I did, the company I kept, the decisions I made, the direction I chose to take in a variety of circumstances was within this lens. I think for many of us, especially as women, this stage presents and provides a source of comfort but also becomes our source of disappointment, fear and negativity. While we want to believe that we are making decisions that are in our best interest, in some circumstances we are left feeling indifferent, unfulfilled even resentful. One of the reasons being that the outcome of the decision we made partially benefited us, but more those around us. When I made the choice to become a wife, more so a mother, I understood that I was forgoing certain choices that solely benefitted me in the name of my family. At no time during those moments did I feel annoyance, anger, resentment or frustration at making decisions that were for the greater good because I knew that much of my happiness was contingent on the happiness of my family unit. What I also knew was that the “we” mindset that granted me the ability to make decisions that were for the greater good of the family unit, was not necessarily the process, mindset or direction that was needed for the new and self-empowering stage – Moi. The word ‘Moi’ holds significance for me in two areas. First, as a born and raised Quebecer, my continued connection and use of the French language is very important me (so important that my kids are part of the French school board). The second significance of the word ‘Moi’ is that its cadence elicits a sense of elevation.

“Me” understood that I was in the early stages of understanding who I was and what I was seeking in the future.

“We” understood that the decisions and choices I made could and would impact the larger ecosystem in which I had created.

But “Moi”, a new journey that I was embarking on, is prepared to self-discover, self-actualize and self-love for I now understand what it meant to ‘show up’ authentically and unapologetically.

“Moi” understands that the body is a temple and what we put into it, is what our soul reflects to others. Moi understands the importance of creating balance in life so that feelings of overwhelmingness, stress and anger do not overpower feelings of joy, peace and connectedness. Moi believes that you owe yourself the love and time that you freely give to others. And Moi understands that taking care of yourself does not mean me first, it means me too.

The power of self-care far exceeds squeezing in time for that bubble bath or massage (though nice enablers of relaxation and pampering). The true art of self-care is emancipating yourself from the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual baggage that clouds your inner-chatter and infringes on one’s capacity to put yourself at the top of your list. 

I am unapologetic for the time that I take for myself to care for myself...because I refuse to take what is left of me over what is the best of me.