Have you ever followed someone on instagram who literally writes out or memes the things that either go through your head, or are things that you say or wouldn’t/shouldn’t say but think? And beyond saying or writing what you are thinking, it seems like they are legit listening to your thoughts cause what they post is sooooooooooooooooo relevant at that very moment. Well that is my current situation. It’s like when you see 11:11 on the clock consistently (which sidenote I see way too often and have yet to figure out what the significance of that is, but if you know PLEASE let a girl know!). Anyways… I follow this woman who goes by the name of Fleurdelisspeaks. If you don’t follow her, get on it. This woman writes very powerful and highly timely messges about life, self-care, hardship, accomplishments – pretty much anything and everthing.
Most days as I read her post, I take a moment to reflect on what message she is seeking to illicit – process it, maybe put it in my instagram story and move on. But then there are other days like last Thursday when she writes something that legit has me feeling like a southern black Baptist Pastor about to deliver one hell of a sermon on a glorious Sunday morning!
Disclaimer: To some of my readers this post may seem directed, please know that it is not directed, but highly coincidental as I started writing this post when she posted the above statement last Thursday.
Fleurdelisspeaks writes – Essential Self-Care:
Taking FULL responsibility for your own toxic mindsets and behaviours that are holding you back rather than blaming your lack of progress on others and what they may have have done to you.
Hold the phone. Drop the mic. Bombaclaat. Ka-Lord have mercy. #REALTALK
Have you ever taken the time to think about the amount of time you spend processing a particular situation (especially those situations that didn’t end the way you wanted it to) and then spent more time than you should have thinking about how you reacted to someone’s actions versus owning YOUR part. How often have you said to yourself (or even out loud) that the “only reason I reacted that way was because you…”
So here is the thing – CLEARLY placing blame on someone else is so much easier than taking ownership for our own bad or self-destructive behaviours, but what becomes our excuse when we find ourselves in the same predicament over and over again, just with different people.
If we think about the concept of the law of attraction, it states that it is the attractive, magnetic power of the Universe that draws similar energies together. It manifests through power of creation, everywhere and in many ways. This law attracts thoughts, ideas, people, situations and circumstances. Now I am not asking you to buy into all the stuff about magnetic power and the universe – that is neither here nor there – what I want to bring to your attention to is how a lack of self-care can draw the wrong people to you, resulting in the dishonouring of who you are intended to be.
By not taking care of your emotional, spiritual, physical and mental state you leave yourself vulnerable to toxicity, that more times than not you have actually created. Cause you see, it isn’t that toxic people are coming to you – it is that you are attracting them to you because the manner in which you are showing up for yourself permeates an energy that toxicity is attracted to.
Let’s be real. No one can actually take you to a place of negativity unless you were already on the train heading to shitville. An encounter with a negative indiviual should not provide insight into who that person is or is not. What that encounter should signal to you is that you are depleted and are in need some self-care. And not the bubble bath, chocolate cake type of self-care (that can come after). I am talking about the uncomfortable, raw, peel back the layers type self-care where the ONLY person you can actually blame for both your shortcomings andg gifts is YOU.
Self-care is such a powerful enabler to achieving your optimal self. It’s kind of like a mullet you know. When you do the work up front, it’s always a party in the back!
