“Failing is not a disgrace unless you make it the last chapter of your book” ~ Jack Hytes
Isn’t crazy that as we get older the lessons that seem to have the biggest impact on us are the things we have tried to avoid our whole life up until now! I mean think about it. When you were younger and coming of age, what did your parents tell you about failure? I am not sure what you heard from your parents, but growing up with west indian parents – failing was like using the word ‘fuck’ – it just didn’t happen! And if it did happen – it was your ass!
I was definitely a product of my environment and feared the outcome of failing. One because it was not something that was acceptable, two my mother did not fuck around (sidenote she is so much more chill with my kids…lol) but more because it had such a negative association to it. Failing at anything – be it sports, a test, a job – wasn’t a reflection of your effort. Absolutely not! It was the outcome of your inadequacies or a reflection of where you struggled, or had difficulty or just didn’t make it up to snuff.
But as I walk into my 40s with grace, confidence and a real understanding of who I am, I have come to a place where failure is a hidden treasure.
Beyond failure being a part of life, the real question is what doors does it open to TRUE self-awareness. Imagine embracing the beauty of failure over fearing it? Do you have any idea the kind of time one could save themselves and the stress that could be avoided! My truth is…Failure led me to the world of human services ( I failed my LSATs). Failure led me to traditional chinese medicine (I struggled to get pregnant the 1st time). Failure led me to my husband (23 years and counting!) All of my life’s blessings are because I failed at something, and rather than focusing on what was not “achieved” I took the opportunity to learn something new about myself. I let the failure be my opportunity to also say that what I thought I wanted in fact was not my desire, or want or purpose, but what I believed was the right thing to seek – hence why I failed.
You know what failure really is. It’s the outcome of not being honest and authentic with yourself. When we do things because it is what we are “supposed” to do, or what is “expected” of us – yeah maybe we achieved the “goal” but were we actually successful. Personally I would say no. And the reason I say no is because the only thing that one could learn in a situation like this is that you know how to get from point a to point b. The real lesson in any circumstance is what did you learn about yourself.
I embrace failure the way I embrace the word “FUCK” – it just adds the extra je ne said quoi!
Failure, like success is just another avenue to self-discovery, self-actualization, self-awareness and self-love. Never hide or be ashamed of it, but be open to the possibilities that show itself.
