Isn’t it funny how so many of us empower those we love to do something, but when it comes to doing that same thing for ourselves we do the opposite (for many different reasons).
With that being said, here are a few facts about me:
I am FAR from shy
I am FAR from quiet
I put 100% in my relationships (family & friends)
Everything I desire to do, I excel
I fade in the background to give those I love the space to shine and to show the world the things I see within them.
Love it or hate, these qualities make me who I am..but it seems #5 is quality that is quite the opposite of what I tell those around me about themselves. I live by the creed that empowering others and supporting those closest to you to shine and show the world how amazing they are is fundamental in any relationship that you deem worthy of nurturing. For me it isn’t good enough to be there in body, but one needs to be there in emotion and spirit and so I am.
Most recently…ok let me keep shit real… literally earlier today I had two conversations with my soul mate and bestie (two different people by the way) who both pointed something out – I do not openly celebrate myself the way I celebrate and big up others. Call is occupational hazard…ok even that is bullshit cause really occupation has nothing to do with my lack of self-promoting…lol…I have just ALWAYS wanted to use that line somewhere so oblige me people…lol.
The fact is they are right! While I am loud and out there, I also very much fade in the background when it comes to self-promotion. I am sure some of you are like what the hell is this girl talking about – I see her on Instagram or Facebook flexing and exercising…lol…yes all very true but for me that is not so much self-promotion as it is showcasing the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual benefits of self-care (just my thoughts). What my girls are talking about is stepping from behind the curtains to really give people the opportunity to see ME…to see the things that I have achieved….to see how I show up for myself by myself. And while I have mastered many many things…this for me is a work in progress. The weird thing is that my desire to stay in the background is not really driven by fear of disapproval or disappointment (cause if you REALLY know me you know I don’t actually care what people think about me)…but it is me feeling guilty about taking the shine that I feel I should be giving to someone versus myself. Does this sound ridiculous – as I read that one line to myself it definitely sounds ridiculous, but when it plays out in real life it seems/feels right.
I can tell you my best friend was FAR from impressed and literally told me to never let that happen again…lol…which I am committed to really working hard on. But what it also did inspire is this blog because for me by putting my truth out there, I am now accountable to the universe to make things different.
I know rationally (as many of you do) that letting your light shine, does not dim anyone else’s light. Beyond that, when you are surrounded by the type of people who lift you up the way my people do…shining a light doesn’t fade theirs but actually lights the tunnel for them to reach their destination. Unlike a light switch, I certainly can’t guarantee that I will always allow myself to be the star of the show…but what I do know is that I have people in my life who will always be there to open the curtain for me.
