Let me just start by saying – grieving sucks. Grieving the loss of someone you love deeply during a pandemic that prevents you from wrapping your arms around those you want to be around the most…well now it just fuckin sucks! On May 8th I lost a man who, perhaps until his untimely death – didn’t fully realize how much I loved and adored. Uncle Dougie (which I fondly called him) was my husband’s uncle, but by all accords, my uncle.
Letting go of expectations of “normal”
So it is April 4th 2020 and we are actively living in a pandemic! Saying the word ‘pandemic’ out loud has been weird, but to write it is even weirder. While I know from a logical standpoint that the things that we are now required to do – physical distancing, working from home, reducing our exposure to the world – is all part of our responsibility as members of our community to move past this moment in history, to say it has been an adjustment is an understatement.
Make your mark
Today as I was scrolling through my Instagram and saw all of the beautiful tributes to Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, John Altobelli, his wife Keri and daughter Alyssa, Sarah and Payton Chester, Christina Mauser and Ara Zobayan (it is so important that we name them and not just as the ‘other victims’) I happened upon a quote that one of my girlfriends had on her story (thanks Lee) and it said “leaving your home and getting back safely is such an underrated blessing.”
Don’t create your plan, live your plan
I hope you didn’t think that 2019 would come to an end and I wouldn’t blog! Keeping things completely real… I am actually writing this blog on December 30th because we are throwing a little New Year’s Eve party today with some of our friends (including the bae) soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I basically won’t be in any shape or form to write eloquently nor with a proper message and so I am blogging a day early. That’s right people, when you get older you get wiser…lol.
F$#@ the resolution. Just commit to YOURSELF!
Can you imagine that we are already December 2nd! Like what in the actual fuck. I swear I was just ramping up for my 40th birthday and now I am strategically planning my Christmas decorating process. Yup… that’s right it’s a full on process. Beyond my birthday and the birthdays of key people in my life…I LOVE CHRISTMAS and every thing that goes with it. Just as a quick side note for those of you who follow my adventures in christmas decorating – Duane and I went to our storage unit today and the Christmas decorations are anxiously awaiting their placement this weekend…lol. Ok back to our regularly scheduled program.
So it has been a minute since I last blogged. Truth be told I have wanted to blog for a bit, but time just hasn’t permitted. You know when I embarked on this MetoMoi business venture I don’t know that I thoroughly considered the juggling act it would require to balance a full-time job, three fairly active kids, coaching and staying disciplined with my own personal (physical) development. I would be lying if I said that it was easy…cause there are definite moments that I feel stretched to capacity, but what I continue to remind myself of is that:
a. I am in total control
b. To work from a place of purpose is actually more energizing than exhausting
c. I am just grateful
You see as I come to the end of this decade (isn’t that super fuckin crazy that we are entering into a completely new decade!!!) I find myself not really concerned about how I’m ending this year – but definitely more focused and excited for what lies in store for 2020.
I mean let’s think about this – what does the whole December, new year’s resolution, ‘end the year on a high note’ look like? We take small moments in time to think about all the good and bad things that have happened to us over the year and use that as the basis for what we are committed to improving or not doing the following year. We say it out loud, we tell our closest friends, we write it in our journal, shit we may even post about it online – BUT more times than not…what ends up happening… we flop. Why? Not because we don’t want to. Not because we don’t desire to. Not because we are ill prepared. But more because our intentions are misdirected. So much of what we desire to do or change is attached to a physical, emotional, psychological or mental outcome. There is a goal that we are seeking to achieve, that is often attached to a particular timeline with a desired feeling attached to it – and when those requirements are not met – what happens? We stop. We feel disappointed. We feel unaccomplished. Fuck in some cases we may even feel like shit! Why create the conditions to make yourself feel bad? and yet we do it over and over again.
What if you said forget it to the whole new year’s resolution idea and just made a commitment to commit to yourself! Like not commit to losing weight, or going to the gym 3x/week, or eating better, or reading a new book, or signing up for a new program or the list of top 20 things that Canadian Living suggest you do for yourself in 2020 (no disrespect to Canadian Living…I love their December – February issues…lol). But simply commit to yourself. Now I know that seems super open and nondescript – but committing to yourself is not a scoped project with a timeline. Nor is it an itemized list of ‘to dos’. Now don’t get me wrong -I love a list (like really love a list). And certainly personal growth and development does require some thought around the general direction we would like to move towards (if not we would all be the princess or cat we said we would be when we were 3!) but making an actual commitment to yourself may be the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
By committing to yourself you are consciously and subconsciously telling yourself that your only intention is to do right by you. By committing to yourself, you are announcing to those around you that you are a priority. By committing to yourself your list of ‘to dos’ becomes building blocks to a more elevated version of yourself. By committing to yourself your intentions become about self-love, self-care and self-awareness.
Look…if you love a resolution and you are someone who sticks to them – that is AMAZING! As I always say…my words merely reflect MY opinion based on my experiences. But if you are fatigued by failed resolutions a month into a new year… just consider this as an option. Committing to yourself costs nothing, doesn’t lock you into a contract nor does it send reminders on what hasn’t been accomplished.
Committing to yourself is simply reminding you that YOU matter.
